slot machine

I was rejected by another potential employer. Another impersonal, system-generated “go fuck yourself” email. This one is especially deflating for several reasons: the work sounded interesting, the work was something that I have not yet done, the work is something that I could very easily do, and the money was…. well, more than I’ve ever made. Someone once told me an interesting, and accurate, analogy. A job search is like


I have the unpleasant feeling of despair. However, it comforts me to know that I am not the first or only person to experience this emotion. And, it is probable that every emotion I’ve ever had is not unique. I am not alone. Also, while I have experienced many emotions (as a function of time), I don’t believe I have experienced all emotions. Especially in the extreme, good or bad.


There are a lot of thoughts bouncing around in my head. None of them are particularly interesting enough to commit to writing. So, I will tell a story. This story takes place twenty or so years ago when I was a young man. I was struggling with life as young men often do. Struggling with career, relationships, faith. I was working a job that wasn’t fulfilling on any level and